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Writer's pictureThe Unicorn Project .

F.O.M.O.

Usually, I don’t really focus on what others do, because I’ve gotten to a point in my journey where if I chose not to attend an event or do something, I don’t dwell on it.

However, with the increase of virtual events, it seems like I was missing out on valuable opportunities. My anxiety surfaced like the pain that it is. Negative self-talk began and went like this ‘you know what you want to achieve, yet here you are, doing everything but attending these online legal events’. When the negative self-talk started, so did the constant butterflies and nausea and feeling drained but forcing myself to show up to commitments because I had to.


I decided to message my mentor to ask if he ever felt like he was missing out on various legal opportunities. He reminded me that it is important not to regret the choices I made because at the end of the day there really is no rewind button to this thing call life.

Sidebar: what if we could actually control our life with a remote – like rewind and make different choices or fast forward to a time when all of our hurdles have been conquered... ah to dream...

With all of the virtual events that have taken place and those that are upcoming, remember that it is not an obligation. YOU DON’T HAVE TO! Toxic productivity is very real and if I’m being honest with myself and you, I think I contribute to it. Being busy/ always productive is literally because of who I am – I think it’s in my DNA and it’s a personality trait at this point - but I digress.

I know that being home all the time has created the illusion that you have all the time in the world to do research on firms, work on applications, attend webinars and IG lives, but the fact is that we don’t all live in the similar conditions, our mental health may not be the best and we are just not able to do all of the things we think we should be doing.

First of all, THERE’S SO MUCH GOING ON ALL AROUND THE WORLD!

Your mental health may not be the best because of personal things or everything going on around the world.

You may be ending a big part of your life and trying to get a job – any job – in this current COVID market.

You may have had to move back home to a relatively noisy and cramped space after being on your own for a while.

You may have had to get other jobs to cover rent and living expenses because you have been furloughed or let go from your job.

You may be overwhelmed by the post-COVID legal market that, these prospects in themselves make you so anxious that you consciously try to avoid it altogether.

It is literally a crazy time in this world right about now! So much is up in the air even though lockdown is being eased and things are going back to ‘normal’.

Try your hardest not to compare yourself. Don’t give yourself grief over not attending the webinar everyone and their cat went to! You are not them. They are not you!

The next time you come across a popular opportunity, ask yourself: ‘Is this [name of opportunity] really for me and my growth, or do I just want to be part of it for the sake of being part of it?’

“Stay focused on your own journey, use others for inspiration but NEVER compare your Chapter 4 to someone else’s Chapter 24.”

Faustina Edward

(yes, I quoted myself because as I wrote that, it resonated with me as though it was someone else saying those words to me)

Credit: @fleurdelisspeaks on IG

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