It's okay to move on from relationships that drain you or no longer serve a purpose in your life. Now before you jump on that last part and think that I mean just discarding people once they have done something for you, this is NOT what I mean.
Think about it though - we build relationships with our teachers (especially secondary school teachers) over the years. They know some of the most personal things about us and we have no issue leaving that relationship alone once you've left school. They have essentially served their purpose in that part of our lives. We may see them a year or two later and say hello, but the relationship with them is never the same.
So my follow up question, is why is it so hard to do the same with friends/romantic partners/professional partners? Granted we may see them more because you live close etc, but the basis is the same.
Bad blood doesn't always have to be the reason for a relationship to end.
Recently, there was the overuse of the word normalise over on Twitter. However, we really need to normalise ending relationships that feel like a burden to us:
Relationships that seem one-sided;
Relationships where one person thinks they're ALWAYS right and refuse to apologise when they're wrong;
Relationships that make you second guess yourself;
Relationships that are just not good for your mental health.
Now when I say relationships, keep in mind I'm not only speaking about romantic relationships. I'm also speaking about friendships and even professional relationships.
We deserve to feel good, worthy and like the other person/people in the relationship value us the same way we value them.
My fave speaker, Queen Lisa Nichols, has a video on how to love yourself called ‘Giving The World The Best Example Of How To Love You’. Though it was mainly focused on romantic relationships, she explained that the ideas can be transferred to other types of relationships. In that video she speaks about 3 types of relationships:
1. Lifetime relationships
2. Live-giving relationships
3. Purposeful relationships
If you would like, you can listen to the video here. It’s 35 minutes long but worth it!
The main idea is that it's okay if all your relationships are not lifetime relationships. You haven't done anything wrong. Holding onto relationships that have died 2 years ago is not a good idea. This may just lead to resenting the other person/people or even yourself for tolerating it.
Don't feel guilty for letting go. This is part of life. It's hard to let go, but
Love yourself enough to put your peace of mind first. There’s so much we worry about already - from finances and the job market to all what's going on in the world with the BLM movement and COVID-19 -
your place in someone else's life shouldn't be one of them.
--Your favourite Unicorn